ARTICLE: Periods. They can knob off.

Petticoat Diva

Casting my mind back to 2007, I remember having just spent nearly 2 years extremely ill but now I’m sat signing paperwork that if needed and cancer was found they would be removing my entire uterus and ovaries. This came with the warning that I might not be able to have children naturally.  I was 19 and I was really poorly with many many ailments and symptoms but most of all I was anaemic and in pain. I’d lost 3 stone in a few months through no change too. I was ready for this to be over with, whatever the outcome.

To be or not to be.

I was being prepped for a cystectomy performed by laparoscopic surgery. It was suspected that I had a large bag of cysts and water attached to my left ovary. When I woke up from the surgery, they told me they had to cut my stomach muscles and go in for open surgery. The reason for this was because the cyst that they went into deflate and pull out turned out to be one large cyst. In order to get the cyst off my ovary and out of me, they had to take 9/10th of my left ovary away too.  The cyst was reportedly the size of a tennis ball. Moreover, it had been sent to Histopathology to check whether it was indeed cancerous or not. 

To cut a long story short, in this respect, you’ll be glad to read that it wasn’t cancerous but I was treated as though I was right up until results were in.  The wait after the surgery felt like forever. From the point of finding the cyst on the ovary, I was in surgery within 2 weeks.  The oddest thing was had it not been for the fact that someone said “Let’s just send her for abdominal scan because there’s no other tests we can do”, it wouldn’t have been found.  I’d had every scan you can think of including but not exhaustive; cameras down the throat, cameras up the butt, small bowel CT, barium meal and more including querying whether I was epileptic too (I wasn’t) when all along, it was to do with my periods.

Liberty X

The cyst turned out to be a benign dermoid cyst and it was thought that I could have had the cyst from birth which explained perhaps quite a few things as my period problems started from the get-go.  My mum had to have a hysterectomy when I was 3 and my grandma too had issues so I believe it was in the family.  I was a late starter.  I had one period when I was 13 (in the middle of a Liberty X concert no less) but after that, nothing until I was 15 but by god when it started there was no stopping it.

I went to see my GP after something wasn’t right, he’d been the family doctor for years upon years. I went without my mum to see him and I asked to be put on the pill.  Not for sexual activity but to control my periods, he refused.  I never went back to see him after that, I was mortified.  I came away with the impression that he thought I was a ‘slag’ (horrible phrase, I know) and all I wanted was the pill to prevent getting pregnant.  Little did my Doctor know that I didn’t lose my virginity until I was nearly 19, not long before my operation!

So, I suffered. The periods were agonising and were lasting nearly 21 days. I remember going to the cinema with my mum one Saturday afternoon and my period started whilst I was in the cinema.  I was wearing white cropped fitted striped trousers. I had to take my jumper off and tie it round the front of my tummy and I had to borrow my mums coat to tie around my bum so that I had two large piece of material covering both front and back and then we had to walk back to the car park.   Soon after the hospital trips started.

The Future

So here I am now in 2019 and you might wonder what situation I am in.  Post surgery, things let up on the illness side of things but the periods are still god damn tricky.  I went through various trials and errors with finding a contraception that worked for me, various different pills caused me to go crazy and caused me to bleed constantly forever at a light rate; others stopped enough but had to take a break in order to have a period that would make me really unwell.   I was being prescribed a steak dinner for breakfast, lunch and tea in order to bring my iron levels back up  and was on B12 injections every 6 weeks but nothing was happening.

I then went on to have the iron rod in my arm. I have scar from when it was removed, it lasted for 2-3 years before I had to have it taken out as it turns out that when I ovulate the egg doesn’t fully leave the ovary and would cause yet more cysts and whilst I don’t have PCOS my lady functions just don’t want to function properly.

So instead, I now have the coil. I do not have periods. They don’t happen at all on the Merina coil and that suits me just fine. The worst that ever happens is a rough fucking can lead to the coil being battered and I can get some blood occur if it happens to be that time of the month. If not, nothing. I check it’s there regularly – you can feel the strings but it takes quite a bit of rummaging in order to do so. Partners have reported that they have felt it but it didn’t feel bad.

Will it change?

You might ask why I’ve never done anything more about it and the truth of the matter is that I don’t want children.  I’m forever getting the “oh you’ll change your mind” but actually, I had the doll when I was in school at the age of 14 in which you took it home for the weekend, it’s meant to put you off teenage pregnancy. It put me off children full stop. I love my nieces and nephews and adding to my collection using my friends’ children. “Pokémon; gotta catch ‘em all” but since my operation in which I had to sign my uterus over. It was really the final nail in the coffin that I decided I didn’t want them and since periods make me so ill and conceiving is likely to be pretty difficult. Periods. They can knob off.

Menstruation Matters


  1. Bee
    January 10, 2019 at 11:41

    Thank you so much for writing this. I’m so sorry periods are so shit for you. And don’t even get me started on GP’s not being sympathetic, I gave up with them and just learn to cope and not wear white!

  2. Sweeten Dirty
    February 26, 2019 at 02:34

    Thank you for sharing. I am also on the Mirena, but have been having mixed feelings on it lately.

Leave a Reply

Your message*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>